Everyone wants to be happy - everyone likes to talk about the path of attaining eternal happiness and peace - from self help authors to the aunty who lives across from you. Everyone!
Nobody fundamentally enjoys being in a state of sorrow, unhappy people seldom enjoy their condition. How does one attain happiness? The truth is, the path to happiness is full of thorns - thorns that tear at your flesh with each passing step. How many of us are brave enough to tread that path and have our feet pierced? How many of us resign to fate and compromise with the situation we are in and tell ourselves that we are indeed HAPPY? So in general people are classified as Genuinely Happy and Pseudo Happy - usually divided in a 20:80 ratio.
So what does one need to do to be genuinely happy?
#1 - Find and pursue your passion - it may or may not be rational or practical but it will be fulfilling
#2 - Stop thinking about World Happiness and worry about your own - living for the sake of others may seem like an extremely nobel thing to do but it does not guarantee Genuine Happiness
#3 - Be proactive, move towards happiness - the path may be littered with broken glass/barbed wire but every inch towards the ultimate goal counts, happiness won't miraculously fall into your lap
#4 - Take ownership of your choices - they may not be correct in the eyes of your peers, parents, society etc but they are right for you - stick to them
#5 - Remember to find joy in small things - seeing a stray puppy roll in dirt or chase after its tail, watching birds fetch for their young...small events, which we tend to overlook, bring heaps of happiness if you search hard enough
#6 - Don't dwell on things in the past - what you did, why you did it, what will be the outcome of what you've done...the list of self loathing and sorrow is endless. What's done is done - it can't be undone till someone invents a time machine. No point destroying your present and future over it.
#7 - Learn to be your own strength - often we rely on people to give us strength through our tough times...a friend, partner, parent...they are nothing more than facilitators of happiness. Nobody can make you happy unless you want to be
#8 - Focus on positives, be around positive people - when things go wrong, everything seems grey. At that point try to find positivity around you and soak it in...it could come from situations or people or even inanimate things
#9 - Talk about your issues! I know alot of eyebrows will be raised by conformists who feel its wrong to wash your dirty laundry in public. But the fact of the matter is that if you talk/bitch about it - it takes a burden off your chest. There are times when situations get blown out of proportion because people around you don't understand the need to vent but eventually those people will see the light. Even if they don't - it shouldn't matter to you.
#10 - Realise that the path of happiness may cause pain to people who can't see things the way you do. You need to prioritize, who's happiness matters more? Your neighborhood gossip aunty's or your own?
The bucket list of things to do could go on forever, but the point hidden beneath all these points is simple - the World is not full of clones, everyone has their own ideology and thought process which cause a hindrance to the happiness of others, directly or indirectly. People frown when a girl struts down the road baring her stomach and legs in a barely there outfit..."Slut" they murmur beneath their breath. They fail to see that she's dressing the way she wants to, the way she feels comfortable...the way that makes her happy. Similarly (in the interest of not giving a gender biased example), if a man chooses not to marry and/or have children because he values his freedom and space...people begin to assume he swings the other way or better still - there must be something wrong down South.
Hinderances to Happiness:
#1 - YOU - we are our biggest roadblocks, we get scared of treading the path of happiness because more often than not it gets perceived as rebellion
#2 - Society - be it neighbors or relatives or even the random passer by who doesn't even know your name - their idea of happiness < > (does not equal) yours! They will continue to talk and gossip and sigh...let it not affect you
#3 - Lack of resources - more often than not, our happiness hinges on our finances - no money no happiness (again contrary to the idealist view of money can't buy happiness)
#4 - Fear of the future - Indians have a disease, they plan and plan and over plan. They plan for 3 generations (whether or not they will be around to witness those generations reaping the fruit from the tree they sowed is immaterial). They are so busy worrying about their next generations happiness, they forget that they need to be happy too
#5 - Self inflicted inhibitions - I guess this point sums up everything above. Due to society and our inherent fears we cage ourselves in a Pseudo Happy World.
Surprisingly, even I am not Genuinely Happy - atleast not completely. I have taken some rather drastic steps to get one step closer to Genuine Happiness but the path seems like a downward spiral of sorrow. The trick is to focus on the The Bigger Picture - doing something today may seem like the worst decision ever but if you believe it will make you happy - STICK TO IT!
Happiness and Sadness are both temporary states of mind...it's in your hand to make them permanent! Choose wisely!
Nobody fundamentally enjoys being in a state of sorrow, unhappy people seldom enjoy their condition. How does one attain happiness? The truth is, the path to happiness is full of thorns - thorns that tear at your flesh with each passing step. How many of us are brave enough to tread that path and have our feet pierced? How many of us resign to fate and compromise with the situation we are in and tell ourselves that we are indeed HAPPY? So in general people are classified as Genuinely Happy and Pseudo Happy - usually divided in a 20:80 ratio.
So what does one need to do to be genuinely happy?
#1 - Find and pursue your passion - it may or may not be rational or practical but it will be fulfilling
#2 - Stop thinking about World Happiness and worry about your own - living for the sake of others may seem like an extremely nobel thing to do but it does not guarantee Genuine Happiness
#3 - Be proactive, move towards happiness - the path may be littered with broken glass/barbed wire but every inch towards the ultimate goal counts, happiness won't miraculously fall into your lap
#4 - Take ownership of your choices - they may not be correct in the eyes of your peers, parents, society etc but they are right for you - stick to them
#5 - Remember to find joy in small things - seeing a stray puppy roll in dirt or chase after its tail, watching birds fetch for their young...small events, which we tend to overlook, bring heaps of happiness if you search hard enough
#6 - Don't dwell on things in the past - what you did, why you did it, what will be the outcome of what you've done...the list of self loathing and sorrow is endless. What's done is done - it can't be undone till someone invents a time machine. No point destroying your present and future over it.
#7 - Learn to be your own strength - often we rely on people to give us strength through our tough times...a friend, partner, parent...they are nothing more than facilitators of happiness. Nobody can make you happy unless you want to be
#8 - Focus on positives, be around positive people - when things go wrong, everything seems grey. At that point try to find positivity around you and soak it in...it could come from situations or people or even inanimate things
#9 - Talk about your issues! I know alot of eyebrows will be raised by conformists who feel its wrong to wash your dirty laundry in public. But the fact of the matter is that if you talk/bitch about it - it takes a burden off your chest. There are times when situations get blown out of proportion because people around you don't understand the need to vent but eventually those people will see the light. Even if they don't - it shouldn't matter to you.
#10 - Realise that the path of happiness may cause pain to people who can't see things the way you do. You need to prioritize, who's happiness matters more? Your neighborhood gossip aunty's or your own?
The bucket list of things to do could go on forever, but the point hidden beneath all these points is simple - the World is not full of clones, everyone has their own ideology and thought process which cause a hindrance to the happiness of others, directly or indirectly. People frown when a girl struts down the road baring her stomach and legs in a barely there outfit..."Slut" they murmur beneath their breath. They fail to see that she's dressing the way she wants to, the way she feels comfortable...the way that makes her happy. Similarly (in the interest of not giving a gender biased example), if a man chooses not to marry and/or have children because he values his freedom and space...people begin to assume he swings the other way or better still - there must be something wrong down South.
Hinderances to Happiness:
#1 - YOU - we are our biggest roadblocks, we get scared of treading the path of happiness because more often than not it gets perceived as rebellion
#2 - Society - be it neighbors or relatives or even the random passer by who doesn't even know your name - their idea of happiness < > (does not equal) yours! They will continue to talk and gossip and sigh...let it not affect you
#3 - Lack of resources - more often than not, our happiness hinges on our finances - no money no happiness (again contrary to the idealist view of money can't buy happiness)
#4 - Fear of the future - Indians have a disease, they plan and plan and over plan. They plan for 3 generations (whether or not they will be around to witness those generations reaping the fruit from the tree they sowed is immaterial). They are so busy worrying about their next generations happiness, they forget that they need to be happy too
#5 - Self inflicted inhibitions - I guess this point sums up everything above. Due to society and our inherent fears we cage ourselves in a Pseudo Happy World.
Surprisingly, even I am not Genuinely Happy - atleast not completely. I have taken some rather drastic steps to get one step closer to Genuine Happiness but the path seems like a downward spiral of sorrow. The trick is to focus on the The Bigger Picture - doing something today may seem like the worst decision ever but if you believe it will make you happy - STICK TO IT!
Happiness and Sadness are both temporary states of mind...it's in your hand to make them permanent! Choose wisely!
1 comment:
May the force be with you.. :)
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