Under no circumstance would I ever agree to (wasting a weekend) representing my company for a sporting event (for whatever noble cause it may be) for the following reasons:
1. I don't play sports (I haven't done anything remotely "sporty" since 2003 - falling off a wakeboard while trying to stand up doesn't qualify).
2. I spend my weekdays in anticipation of weekends so I can relax and unwind - this process requires little or no physical activity.
3. I have no interest whatsoever crossing inter state boundaries, traveling 45km (one way) to go and "play"
4. I am inherently lazy - I prefer dwelling in a motionless state like a lump of lard
Despite these extremely strong reasons to dodge the event, my colleague and friend decided to arm twist me into participating. Being utterly useless in every sport on the platter, I was forced into the Table Tennis team (woooot?!? I don't even know how to hold the bat...racquet...what's it called). I reluctantly agreed with the assumption that I'd bomb out in the first game and hurry back home. The evening before the event I'm told there's a sudden change of plan - I'm playing Badminton now...phew! I've played that one before...hit the shuttlecock anywhere in the park - failing to do so results in...you having to bend down to pick up the shuttle and send it back into motion.
We arrived at the venue and that's where I learnt that just like tennis (a game I played donkeys of years ago) - Badminton has rules - really confusing ones but it does - different rules for doubles and different rules for singles. Aaaaaarrrrrrgh! WHY WHY WHY!!! So began my crash course in Badminton - from which box to serve in to which box to stand in when points are even/odd...resulting in a big fat muddle. Oh well - "We aren't going to win anyways so lets just try not to make a fool out of ourselves" - was the only thought in my mind at the time. With the theory out of the way it was time for some practical - "knocking"...wooot?!?!?! The folks in the mens team took it upon themselves to achieve the impossible and serve in my direction. Blinded by the damn lights I hardly managed to make any contact. My colleague Varsha (God bless her soul for the arm twisting) was clearly the better player (atleast she managed to make contact) and I was the 12th man playing with little visibility and two left feet.
We lost the first match (but not without a fight) and the second was a walk over (the team could see our awesomeness and decided to flee). So here we were in the pre-quarter finals without a clue of what just happened! This called for a celebration - so with our new found friends (the boys badminton team) we went out to celebrate our win - the boys obviously played and won their matches. Sitting at SBX and celebrating our success we got a called back - come play the pre-quarter finals...woooot...right now!?!?! We went back to cheer the boys who were playing a killer matches...our boys team had the following:
1. Rupesh - the tenured captain...leader...calming factor...glue which held us all together
2. Mayank - the player with Shami Kapoor style stance (one hand on his ear the other wielding the racquet)...yaaaaahooooo
3. Shaurya - the rock...no sneaky shuttle could get past him
4. Varun - the Christ (both arms up in the air Hallelujah style...waiting for the shuttle to arrive before smashing it across the court)
In short we had a power packed Awesome Foursome...who continued to win their matches and progressed to the Semi's.
Cut to Day 2 - exhausted and aching from Day 1 we still trudged out to the battlefield all smiles. To our surprise we went on to win the Pre-Quarterfinals in the Women category aswell (no comments about how good/bad/pathetic the other team was the point is we WON)...and thats when it happened - our worst nightmare in our very short badminton history unfolded before us. Our Quarter Final match with DCM Sriram ladies - one of whom was a national level player - she not only looked the part but played it too!
For Varun it was louwe@first_serve - so it didn't bother him much that we got creamed by her - she played singles...and doubles...ALONE! (her partner was merely a fashion accessory). With us crashing our only hope for a medal was from the boys so we made it a point to scream our lungs out and ensure that sounds of "Go Jesuuuuuus"..."Come on MJ"..."Sirjee khatam kar do"..."Easy Shaurya easy...focussss" reverberated around the hall. Unfortunately screaming doesn't win matches - our boys were outdone by the HCL giants but they went down with a fight.
On a whole - I look forward to our next badminton outing because I may not have earned any medals but I managed to earn a new set of awesome friends...and I got to know what the "Hand of God" looks like - Varun and Varsha can comment on how it tastes too :P
A victory drink to winning friends! Stay awesome people :)
Final words of Gyan - in life you never know whats happening to you and what it may lead to...in the words of master oogway - there are no accidents! Never think twice before taking the leap - at the most you will come back with a few broken "ribs" but it will be worth the fall
Ps - some references made in this post may make little or no sense to people who weren't there and didn't do that...questions & comments are welcome and will be answered in about 100 years :)
1. I don't play sports (I haven't done anything remotely "sporty" since 2003 - falling off a wakeboard while trying to stand up doesn't qualify).
2. I spend my weekdays in anticipation of weekends so I can relax and unwind - this process requires little or no physical activity.
3. I have no interest whatsoever crossing inter state boundaries, traveling 45km (one way) to go and "play"
4. I am inherently lazy - I prefer dwelling in a motionless state like a lump of lard
Despite these extremely strong reasons to dodge the event, my colleague and friend decided to arm twist me into participating. Being utterly useless in every sport on the platter, I was forced into the Table Tennis team (woooot?!? I don't even know how to hold the bat...racquet...what's it called). I reluctantly agreed with the assumption that I'd bomb out in the first game and hurry back home. The evening before the event I'm told there's a sudden change of plan - I'm playing Badminton now...phew! I've played that one before...hit the shuttlecock anywhere in the park - failing to do so results in...you having to bend down to pick up the shuttle and send it back into motion.
We arrived at the venue and that's where I learnt that just like tennis (a game I played donkeys of years ago) - Badminton has rules - really confusing ones but it does - different rules for doubles and different rules for singles. Aaaaaarrrrrrgh! WHY WHY WHY!!! So began my crash course in Badminton - from which box to serve in to which box to stand in when points are even/odd...resulting in a big fat muddle. Oh well - "We aren't going to win anyways so lets just try not to make a fool out of ourselves" - was the only thought in my mind at the time. With the theory out of the way it was time for some practical - "knocking"...wooot?!?!?! The folks in the mens team took it upon themselves to achieve the impossible and serve in my direction. Blinded by the damn lights I hardly managed to make any contact. My colleague Varsha (God bless her soul for the arm twisting) was clearly the better player (atleast she managed to make contact) and I was the 12th man playing with little visibility and two left feet.
We lost the first match (but not without a fight) and the second was a walk over (the team could see our awesomeness and decided to flee). So here we were in the pre-quarter finals without a clue of what just happened! This called for a celebration - so with our new found friends (the boys badminton team) we went out to celebrate our win - the boys obviously played and won their matches. Sitting at SBX and celebrating our success we got a called back - come play the pre-quarter finals...woooot...right now!?!?! We went back to cheer the boys who were playing a killer matches...our boys team had the following:
1. Rupesh - the tenured captain...leader...calming factor...glue which held us all together
2. Mayank - the player with Shami Kapoor style stance (one hand on his ear the other wielding the racquet)...yaaaaahooooo
3. Shaurya - the rock...no sneaky shuttle could get past him
4. Varun - the Christ (both arms up in the air Hallelujah style...waiting for the shuttle to arrive before smashing it across the court)
In short we had a power packed Awesome Foursome...who continued to win their matches and progressed to the Semi's.
Cut to Day 2 - exhausted and aching from Day 1 we still trudged out to the battlefield all smiles. To our surprise we went on to win the Pre-Quarterfinals in the Women category aswell (no comments about how good/bad/pathetic the other team was the point is we WON)...and thats when it happened - our worst nightmare in our very short badminton history unfolded before us. Our Quarter Final match with DCM Sriram ladies - one of whom was a national level player - she not only looked the part but played it too!
For Varun it was louwe@first_serve - so it didn't bother him much that we got creamed by her - she played singles...and doubles...ALONE! (her partner was merely a fashion accessory). With us crashing our only hope for a medal was from the boys so we made it a point to scream our lungs out and ensure that sounds of "Go Jesuuuuuus"..."Come on MJ"..."Sirjee khatam kar do"..."Easy Shaurya easy...focussss" reverberated around the hall. Unfortunately screaming doesn't win matches - our boys were outdone by the HCL giants but they went down with a fight.
On a whole - I look forward to our next badminton outing because I may not have earned any medals but I managed to earn a new set of awesome friends...and I got to know what the "Hand of God" looks like - Varun and Varsha can comment on how it tastes too :P
A victory drink to winning friends! Stay awesome people :)
Final words of Gyan - in life you never know whats happening to you and what it may lead to...in the words of master oogway - there are no accidents! Never think twice before taking the leap - at the most you will come back with a few broken "ribs" but it will be worth the fall
Ps - some references made in this post may make little or no sense to people who weren't there and didn't do that...questions & comments are welcome and will be answered in about 100 years :)
2 comments:
awesomeee.. I recently started playing TT in office and realized that I pretty much suck at the game..man it's so difficult to keep the ball on such a small table.. mere liye toh foosball hi sahi hai.. :P
Hahaha I've realised one thing - it doesn't matter how badly you play the game as long as you're having fun...though that does negate my otherwise competitive streak but it's ok sometimes :)
So you keep playing TT...think beyond that table hehehehe!
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