A Pertinent Question...

For those of you who think I am a “lovelorn teenager” who constantly writes about pain/misery/heartache etc. I would like to clarify that chronologically I am waaay beyond my teen years however somewhere down the line I feel I got stuck in a time warp which has made me become the way I am right now. It was probably the late exposure to feelings pertaining to love/lust/whatever comes in between. Or it might be attributed to the fact that I have never really understood the concept of being “in love”.

I had/have a really good friend who had a concept – I found the concept a rather sneaky way of passing the love round, but then to each his/her own. The concept was that one can “love” many people i.e. that gives you the liberty to say “I love you” to as many people as you feel the “love” for…however, one is only allowed to be “in love” with one person i.e. that person gets a little extra lovin’ and ofcourse the “I love you” stays. Now the concept, in my opinion, is rather amusing and very progressive for someone like me (yes for all those who think I am an icon of the progressive age – please reconsider). I am rather deluded by the concept of love and romance – as far as I know – it should not be all candy coated love/PDA/materialistic – because that would just be fakin it. On the other hand it should also not be so subtle that the other person doesn’t catch the “lurve vibes”. 

Which brings me to the pertinent question that’s been plaguing my mind for I don’t know how long – How does one deal with heartache (attached to the break up)? Now for those of you yelling – GOOGLE IT…I know that there 207,000 entries on “How to deal with heartache” available on Google but most of it involves binge eating, shopping, hanging out with friends, getting make over’s etc etc. All these things are superficial distractions that help take ones mind off the impending pain and consequent numbness that follows. Is there a non superficial fool proof way of getting rid of the pain that’s so deep and so seemingly unbearable that it leads to an acute numbness – one that renders the sufferer incapable of any emotion at all? Now this whole theory of pain would sound rather alien to people who have a modern and rather practical view of love and relationships, the kinds who know how to get over it and move on, the kind who don’t brood and mope about wondering why them, the kind who breathe a sigh of relief that their onion breath lover is now their ex onion breath lover. Onion breath or not – certain people rely on escapism to help them “cope” with the pain and often end up pretending to be oh so happy whilst they try to burry the pain under layers and layers of pseudo happiness. However, the pain/numbness is still there right? So technically they aren’t coping, they are merely avoiding confrontation with the pain – for fear of the fact that confrontation will only lead to more pain. 

So what does one do? Turn superficial? Not value relationships as much and adopt a more practical, selfish view that ensures a win win situation for them always? Have random sex with their neighbours wife to seek solace and vent out the pent up angst? It’s a rather pertinent question open to debate – How to deal with heartache? 

There Was a Time

There was a time, a distant memory now,
When love translated to laughter
When the colours of the rainbow,
Paved the road to Avonlea.

There was a time, a distant memory now,
When life revolved round milk n cookies
When the stars that splattered across the sky
Were diamonds waiting to be picked.

That time has gone; it’s a distant memory now,
The colours have faded, the laughter silenced
The stars are breaking, and falling tonight
For that time has gone…its gone…and gone