An Ode to My Life

Its been over a year since my last post...I can't say I've been busy...Or I didn't have anything to write about...I've had the worst year imaginable...2011 came and wrecked havoc in my life...Here is an Ode...for what was...and what is left...

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In a flash my world destroyed,

You went away and left a void,

The night you slept, how could I know?

That the morning would usher such a blow...

You said, “Wake me up, in case I can’t”

Your words still echo like a deathly chant,

I found you that morn, cold and sleeping,

An hour later my life was weeping...

“Wake up ma...It’s time,” I yelled,

But on your face serenity dwelled,

You were on your way to a better place,

It was writ on the calm of your face...

I tried setting your heart to beat,

My mind knew it to be a losing feat,

A doctor, an ambulance...call them all!

Save my mom from deaths call...

They came and declared the final hour,

Yet I tried to revive you with all my power,

Clutching your body as it turned cold,

Your fleeting soul, I tried to hold...

“Come back ma, don’t leave me behind!”

Screaming loud so the angles could mind,

God wrenched my chest and punched a hole in my heart,

Such immeasurable pain only the devil could impart!

The hatred and bile curdled through my veins,

As people consoled and spoke of the peace one attains,

When in the lords arms the soul laughs and sings,

But to those left behind only misery it brings...

“Be strong, take heart, do it for your dad,”

They wouldn't let me mourn or even be sad,

As my world disintegrated before my very eyes,

Consolations poured in full of fake promises and lies!

It’s been a while since we set your soul free,

I watched your ashes float away, further than I could see,

So many unfulfilled wishes and things to say,

They all died with you on that very day...

No words to express the excruciating pain I still nurse,

That’s been brought upon me like a life-long curse,

I’m pretending to live but you know I died-

That wretched day I mourned on your bedside...

They say you're around, they say I should feel,

But I don't feel a thing - could it be for real?

They said it wouldn't hurt, that time would heal,

But with each passing day the pain grows unreal...

My days are empty, I trudge on in a trance,

To be with you again - is there a chance?

They say memories live on when people don't

To try to forget you is something I won't...

There is no way in hell this pain will go,

And till my last breath my misery will grow,

This void is here, it's true and real,

Several lifetimes will pass for my ache to heal...