For those of you who think I am a “lovelorn teenager” who constantly writes about pain/misery/heartache etc. I would like to clarify that chronologically I am waaay beyond my teen years however somewhere down the line I feel I got stuck in a time warp which has made me become the way I am right now. It was probably the late exposure to feelings pertaining to love/lust/whatever comes in between. Or it might be attributed to the fact that I have never really understood the concept of being “in love”.
I had/have a really good friend who had a concept – I found the concept a rather sneaky way of passing the love round, but then to each his/her own. The concept was that one can “love” many people i.e. that gives you the liberty to say “I love you” to as many people as you feel the “love” for…however, one is only allowed to be “in love” with one person i.e. that person gets a little extra lovin’ and ofcourse the “I love you” stays. Now the concept, in my opinion, is rather amusing and very progressive for someone like me (yes for all those who think I am an icon of the progressive age – please reconsider). I am rather deluded by the concept of love and romance – as far as I know – it should not be all candy coated love/PDA/materialistic – because that would just be fakin it. On the other hand it should also not be so subtle that the other person doesn’t catch the “lurve vibes”.
Which brings me to the pertinent question that’s been plaguing my mind for I don’t know how long – How does one deal with heartache (attached to the break up)? Now for those of you yelling – GOOGLE IT…I know that there 207,000 entries on “How to deal with heartache” available on Google but most of it involves binge eating, shopping, hanging out with friends, getting make over’s etc etc. All these things are superficial distractions that help take ones mind off the impending pain and consequent numbness that follows. Is there a non superficial fool proof way of getting rid of the pain that’s so deep and so seemingly unbearable that it leads to an acute numbness – one that renders the sufferer incapable of any emotion at all? Now this whole theory of pain would sound rather alien to people who have a modern and rather practical view of love and relationships, the kinds who know how to get over it and move on, the kind who don’t brood and mope about wondering why them, the kind who breathe a sigh of relief that their onion breath lover is now their ex onion breath lover. Onion breath or not – certain people rely on escapism to help them “cope” with the pain and often end up pretending to be oh so happy whilst they try to burry the pain under layers and layers of pseudo happiness. However, the pain/numbness is still there right? So technically they aren’t coping, they are merely avoiding confrontation with the pain – for fear of the fact that confrontation will only lead to more pain.
So what does one do? Turn superficial? Not value relationships as much and adopt a more practical, selfish view that ensures a win win situation for them always? Have random sex with their neighbours wife to seek solace and vent out the pent up angst? It’s a rather pertinent question open to debate – How to deal with heartache?
7 comments:
dis is something very complicated and not possible 4 an inexperienced person like me 2 explain....i cannot tell u how 2 deal with a heartache but can certainly say that turning superficial is not an option....
considering all dese cases, i feel lucky dat I am free 4m this heartache stuff....
hehehehe the advice wasnt being sought out for personal reasons...i was just curious :P
I'd have liked to answer, had you asked specifically for yourself. :P
I don't like to dole out 'generic' advice!
And no, random sex with neighbor's wife won't help you, unless and until you want to avenge the entire male species. Also, wondering how could it be random if it is your neighbor's wife! Or did you mean, any random person's neighbor's wife? ;)
Actually, looking at the time right now (4:30 am), you might realize why my above comments are sounding so profound.
Will come up with something appropriately shallow, once you assure me that mine wouldn't be treated as generic advice 'cuz it'd anyway apply only to people like you who like to think and not generic people anyway! Did I just call you abnormal by calling you not generic? :P 'Abnormal' could be a compliment when coming from me. :)
TC.
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I was just having some fun :-) There will be changes to it shortly. I had an experience in Canada which kinda made me write this. Check it out! Hope you have a good laugh. Suggestions (and swear-words) are as welcome as they will ever be :-D
Of the multitude of personalities quoted..i am sure the majority is covered.. but how could you forget the logical mind?! Since you've been thorough enough to give numerical data..its quite surprising.. Now, its not that i claim to have a definite answer.. its more accurately just a theory, that too of the rational mind..since you have rejected so many frames, i gather this was left, its based on relevance than on fancies - you weigh your life with heartache & without(upfront nobody likes to keep one, but ask them candidly & all of us carry something). Back to my point-you weigh then decide.. whether the outcome in favor is feasible? If not then is it still worth the pain?
Answer these questions & you would-
A) Accept the pain & it won't bother you so much
B) You earnestly try & move on, this for yourself.
In any case you do it yourself..no formula, no mathematics, no science, call it your will or uncontrolled emotions or just common sense.
Remember - everything starts and ends with YOU.
I see i am giving uncalled for "generic" advice..since everyone has the right to ignore. If it's inapplicable then exercise it.
Are u r still Angry young men :) , we met in community http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Community?cmm=13792401
There was no way 2 say Hi 2 you as I am blocked in ur list :X but yup ATB & TC
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