Ok for those of you whose 2010 has ushered in countless treasures of happiness, joy and all things pink and poofy – I envy you. My 2010 has been anything but joyful, it is only the 3rd day of this wretched year and some of us have already faced the wrath of being evil in 2009. I hate dentists (no disrespect to all my beloved dentist friends but I hate dentists), I try real hard to love them because they care for our teeth and we need teeth to eat food and I really love food, but I still hate dentists. Now last year I had a rather uncomfortable encounter with a certain dentist who caused me immense pain as he ruthlessly tried yanking out my poor ol’ wisdom tooth which didn’t even get a chance to completely emerge (the darn thing rot before it could emerge into the precious confines of my glorious mouth). Well that tooth was one tough cookie with curvy roots and what not; our beloved dentist was no match for super tooth. So in comes a dentist-surgeon (or whatever they are called) who skillfully cuts super tooth out leaving behind stitches in my MOUTH (I had never in my wildest dreams imagined getting stitches in my mouth). Anyways I had a rather ugly show-down with my dentist which ended in my terminating our “relationship” hoping desperately never to need a dentist again.
So come 2010 and all is well till the dreadful night of 02/01/2010; I was blissfully brushing my pearlies when all of a sudden my brush bristles collided with the back of my mouth emanating a shooting pain that resonated through my brain! “Oh sh*t!” was my one and only reaction…I gathered up my guts and decided to casually slip it into the conversation with my mom that I “may” have a tooth issue. Now my mom freaks out whenever there are issues pertaining to teeth in the picture and I was dutifully sent to the next best dental clinic for an examination.
Now entering a dental clinic is almost like strolling into a squeaky clean hell with fluorescent lights and bright smiles! So I formulate a game plan – I shall threaten the dentist and warn him about the consequences should things get “complicated”. The dentist seemed like a nice guy, all bright and shiny with his perfect set of teeth. He listened, chuckled, made a few wise cracks and assured me that he would find the “root” of the problem and eliminate it with minimum pain. After his investigation he gave me a look – a look which doctors give to terminally ill patients whose time has come, a look which (in “dentistical” terms) spells E.X.T.R.A.C.T.I.O.N! But since he was playing “good cop” he decided to run me through the whole procedure and assured me there would be no need to operate (I shouldn’t have fallen for that assuring face!).
He wrote down a prescription of antibiotics and gave me an appointment for later in the evening – equivalent to handing down a death sentence to an innocent man! Sitting in the dentists chair made me feel like the pilot of a space mission to the sun…I was scared – I admit it – I hate drills, I hate surgical instruments – I hate dentists! He began the procedure by sticking an enormous injection into my mouth rendering the area comfortably numb (I wish he’d have numbed my brain and eyes too so I wouldn’t have to go through the whole process). He tells me to raise my hand if I feel any pain – I raise it right away – much to the amusement of the dentist and his ass – I WAS IN PAIN from the giant injection!!! A few painstaking minutes into the procedure – the tooth refused to budge (why oh why did he have to pull out a perfectly good tooth). Out came more surgical instruments – the rest – is too gruesome to divulge in detail. I ended up – a good 45 minutes later – with my mouth swollen like a guppy, stuffed with cotton, feeling comfortably numb with a strange taste of blood in my mouth (not very pleasant I tell you – dunno how vampires do it).
As I sulked back home, I took some time to reflect on my situation…ITS KARMA…I had been karmically impaled by the wrath of the tooth fairy who conspired with the dental world! Karma’s a bitch – I hate dentist – they robbed me of all my wisdom - I feel stupid now! What luck…or lack of it…I hate karma…*&$^!@#&%!*@^@%
Thank you for all bearing with me…I can’t talk so I chose this medium to vent!
My final words - I hate dentists, more than that I hate TEETH (since they are the ROOT cause of all my miseries at the moment)...we should not have teeth, nourishment should come out of a glass with a curly straw...how awsome that would be...sigh
2 comments:
I guess, my flattery is showing some positive results. :)
Of course, your tooth issues are outcomes of your karma only! Or what do you think, could it also be dentist's karma? As in, his past good karma enabled him to earn that money?
See why you should hate those who'd done good karma in the past? ;)
Really enjoyed reading. Though I wish it shouldn't have been an outcome of your actually suffering. :(
But anyway, that's life - one person's sorrow is another person's joke. :)
I'm maintaining a list of all the professionals you hate! Dentists are the second one after psychiatrists. :P
TC.
i once had braces so i can understand ur pain.... but i must say the way have written, i feel like bursting out laughing....well one should not laugh at others misery but its not my fault.... u made it so humourous.... :):)
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