I will keep this review short. Bullet points mostly. But first a brief intro for those unfamiliar with the marvelous world of Marvel Comics:
The Old Cast (Avengers)
- Iron Man / Tony Stark - oh my god he just keeps getting hotter
- Hulk - still green and still mean (when green)
- Thor - he's godly and he knows it...and yummy
- Captain America - haven't seen winter soldier but I was told I might start respecting him as a superhero post that
- Black Widow - stupid spare part #1 who doesn't even look pretty in her (sorry Scarlett)
- Hawk Eye - stupid spare part #2 who's existence got beefed up in this flick (we get a sneak peak into his secret life - his house/kids/pregnant wife/super awesome farm house)
- War Machine - stupid spare part #3...who can sound cool at times in a lame sort of way
- Maria Hill - stupid spare part #4 in a blink and you'll miss it role
- Nick Fury - stupid spare part #5 who magically appears to save the day and re-bind the Avengers
- Erik Selvig - intelligent scientist spare part #6...God's consult him what more does one need to bump up their TRP?
- J.A.R.V.I.S - the yellow ball of awesome neuron-transmission-type-awesomeness / Tony's sidekick and Man Friday
- Loki's Scepter - ok it isn't exactly a character but by virtue of the fact that the gem has artificial intelligence and ends up powering Ultron deserves a mention
Newbies (from X Men and other places)
- Ultron - the villain, the Yin to Iron Man's Yang
- Scarlet Witch - she looks like a cross between Avril Lavigne and that chick from Twilight. who always has a pained expression throughout the movie...she's just creepy. She does a Kung Fu Panda with her blasts of energy
- Quicksilver *Drool* - he's Eastern European - ENOUGH SAID
- Vision - he's purple like a grape and he sounds like Jarvis...purple Jarvis :-S
- Helen Cho - Lucy Liu meets Professor X minus the super powers - she makes skin by putting people in a coffin :-/
- Ulysses the SOUTH AFRICAN arms dealer - his accent sent me back home...<3 p="">- Friday? - the sad temp replacement for Jarvis
- Strucker - the twisted man creating twisted things using Loki's scepter
The Story
Loki's scepter needs to be retrieved from Strucker who is using it to mutate humans (Maximoff Twins are scepter kids!). Enter the Avengers & Cool Fight Sequence #1 (of many)...Scepter retrieved, mission accomplished...almost. While retrieving the scepter Tony encounters the Scarlet Witch who makes him have a creepy nightmare of dead Avengers blaming him for utter death and destruction :-/
Tony being the genius that he is, finds a way to get Thor to delay his trip back to Asgard so he can experiment with the scepter - that thing has some serious AI sh*t going and it might help power Ultron and ensure eternal world peace! He arm twists Banner into helping him...they set about trying to harness the power of the stone and decide to take a break and celebrate...because Tony's all about partying!
While they party the Scepter-Stone-AI 'kills' Jarvis and powers up Ultron all by itself...more fight sequences ensue because Ultron may sound all cool, but he wants to kill everyone and start the world afresh (I sort of like this guy for that). He tag teams with the twins because they hate Tony for killing their parents (the Stark grenade dunnit)...Cool Fight Sequence #2 - #5 follow...everyone's going nuts because they have been touched by the Scarlet Witch and are facing their biggest fears through hallucinations. When the Avengers aren't avenging they are fighting and bickering with each other. Enter Nick-eye-patch-Fury to bind them back and get them to AVENGE!
Some stuff that happens in between:
- Ultron wants a sexy new body so he goes to Cho to use her sexy skin making coffin
- The twins turn against Ultron when SW finds out he plans to destroy the world...hey buddy you don't expect me to help you kill me do you? I wasn't born yesterday!
- We find out Jarvis never really died he was just in hiding (sneaky Jarvis)
- Vision is born (the good Ultron)...he has a mind stone...one of 6 infinity stones
- After Quicksilver dies, SW goes kukkoo and disintegrates Ultron. There is a confrontation scene between Vision and pieces of Ultron
- The Avengers kind of retire and may way for the new kids - the Hulk flees in this tiny little plane (who can stand Romanoff for that long - good he ran), everyone else Iron Man, Captain America, Thor...all have retirement plans ready
The Good
- Tony Stark - because he's ALWAYS good even when he's bad
- Quicksilver - because he's a hot Eastern European dude who runs really fast
- Fight sequences - a bit too many in number but all individually spectacular
- Ultron wants us to evolve - how will he achieve that? By levitating a city and turning it into a giant meteor ofcourse!
- Thor's sense of humor
The Bad
- The creepiness of Scarlet Witch - she just causes destruction by making your worst nightmares appear real (for a moment I was left thinking Thor was afraid of hot scantily clad chicks)
- Too many spare parts...cameo's are in but this was a bit much
- Extra footage given to Hawkeye - we DONT want to know about his secret life - he will still suck
- Too many sub plots
- Black Widows half baked character
- The Maximoff twins' fake accent
- A run time of 2.5 hrs is a bit much
The Ugly
- Hulk and Romanoff romance!?! WTF!!! #epicfail #zerochemistry #puke_worthy
- Quicksilver dies trying to save a kid and HAWKEYE...my death list would have been ANY of the spare parts but not him
- Not every arms dealer/slave trader needs to be African
This got a bit long...damn damn damn!
The Old Cast (Avengers)
- Iron Man / Tony Stark - oh my god he just keeps getting hotter
- Hulk - still green and still mean (when green)
- Thor - he's godly and he knows it...and yummy
- Captain America - haven't seen winter soldier but I was told I might start respecting him as a superhero post that
- Black Widow - stupid spare part #1 who doesn't even look pretty in her (sorry Scarlett)
- Hawk Eye - stupid spare part #2 who's existence got beefed up in this flick (we get a sneak peak into his secret life - his house/kids/pregnant wife/super awesome farm house)
- War Machine - stupid spare part #3...who can sound cool at times in a lame sort of way
- Maria Hill - stupid spare part #4 in a blink and you'll miss it role
- Nick Fury - stupid spare part #5 who magically appears to save the day and re-bind the Avengers
- Erik Selvig - intelligent scientist spare part #6...God's consult him what more does one need to bump up their TRP?
- J.A.R.V.I.S - the yellow ball of awesome neuron-transmission-type-awesomeness / Tony's sidekick and Man Friday
- Loki's Scepter - ok it isn't exactly a character but by virtue of the fact that the gem has artificial intelligence and ends up powering Ultron deserves a mention
Newbies (from X Men and other places)
- Ultron - the villain, the Yin to Iron Man's Yang
- Scarlet Witch - she looks like a cross between Avril Lavigne and that chick from Twilight. who always has a pained expression throughout the movie...she's just creepy. She does a Kung Fu Panda with her blasts of energy
- Quicksilver *Drool* - he's Eastern European - ENOUGH SAID
- Vision - he's purple like a grape and he sounds like Jarvis...purple Jarvis :-S
- Helen Cho - Lucy Liu meets Professor X minus the super powers - she makes skin by putting people in a coffin :-/
- Ulysses the SOUTH AFRICAN arms dealer - his accent sent me back home...<3 p="">- Friday? - the sad temp replacement for Jarvis
- Strucker - the twisted man creating twisted things using Loki's scepter
The Story
Loki's scepter needs to be retrieved from Strucker who is using it to mutate humans (Maximoff Twins are scepter kids!). Enter the Avengers & Cool Fight Sequence #1 (of many)...Scepter retrieved, mission accomplished...almost. While retrieving the scepter Tony encounters the Scarlet Witch who makes him have a creepy nightmare of dead Avengers blaming him for utter death and destruction :-/
Tony being the genius that he is, finds a way to get Thor to delay his trip back to Asgard so he can experiment with the scepter - that thing has some serious AI sh*t going and it might help power Ultron and ensure eternal world peace! He arm twists Banner into helping him...they set about trying to harness the power of the stone and decide to take a break and celebrate...because Tony's all about partying!
While they party the Scepter-Stone-AI 'kills' Jarvis and powers up Ultron all by itself...more fight sequences ensue because Ultron may sound all cool, but he wants to kill everyone and start the world afresh (I sort of like this guy for that). He tag teams with the twins because they hate Tony for killing their parents (the Stark grenade dunnit)...Cool Fight Sequence #2 - #5 follow...everyone's going nuts because they have been touched by the Scarlet Witch and are facing their biggest fears through hallucinations. When the Avengers aren't avenging they are fighting and bickering with each other. Enter Nick-eye-patch-Fury to bind them back and get them to AVENGE!
Some stuff that happens in between:
- Ultron wants a sexy new body so he goes to Cho to use her sexy skin making coffin
- The twins turn against Ultron when SW finds out he plans to destroy the world...hey buddy you don't expect me to help you kill me do you? I wasn't born yesterday!
- We find out Jarvis never really died he was just in hiding (sneaky Jarvis)
- Vision is born (the good Ultron)...he has a mind stone...one of 6 infinity stones
- After Quicksilver dies, SW goes kukkoo and disintegrates Ultron. There is a confrontation scene between Vision and pieces of Ultron
- The Avengers kind of retire and may way for the new kids - the Hulk flees in this tiny little plane (who can stand Romanoff for that long - good he ran), everyone else Iron Man, Captain America, Thor...all have retirement plans ready
The Good
- Tony Stark - because he's ALWAYS good even when he's bad
- Quicksilver - because he's a hot Eastern European dude who runs really fast
- Fight sequences - a bit too many in number but all individually spectacular
- Ultron wants us to evolve - how will he achieve that? By levitating a city and turning it into a giant meteor ofcourse!
- Thor's sense of humor
The Bad
- The creepiness of Scarlet Witch - she just causes destruction by making your worst nightmares appear real (for a moment I was left thinking Thor was afraid of hot scantily clad chicks)
- Too many spare parts...cameo's are in but this was a bit much
- Extra footage given to Hawkeye - we DONT want to know about his secret life - he will still suck
- Too many sub plots
- Black Widows half baked character
- The Maximoff twins' fake accent
- A run time of 2.5 hrs is a bit much
The Ugly
- Hulk and Romanoff romance!?! WTF!!! #epicfail #zerochemistry #puke_worthy
- Quicksilver dies trying to save a kid and HAWKEYE...my death list would have been ANY of the spare parts but not him
- Not every arms dealer/slave trader needs to be African
This got a bit long...damn damn damn!
1 comment:
How dare you say something like that for Black Widow.. She is not stupid and is damn pretty..
BTW did u know that they are bringing spiderman in the next avengers movie.. I am already excited.. cant wait to watch spiderman with the team.. With Justice League too coming in with full force, it cannot get bigger than this..
http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/news/spider-man-set-to-join-marvels-avengers-movie-universe-20150210
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